Years passed
May 24, 2007, 8:47 pm
Filed under: Emolation

And I am still the same old lazy ass bitch i used to be. I keep leaving jobs.. I keep applying for jobs I know I’d be leaving anyway, sooner than later. Tomorrow, I’m not goin after something I can’t do anymore. I’m actually trying to go after something that let’s me go to work on mornings and sleep at night.

Its sad when the only person you’d want to believe in you, no longer does. For good reason. I cannot blame that person. I’ve been nothing more than a letdown for the past few years. I have wasted my time. Yes. Wasted. I should know. My father always said, failures are not a waste of time, it only becomes a waste if you do not learn from it. How would I know I did not learn from my failures? Simple. I keep doing it again. I should stop disappointing myself. It breaks my heart. It breaks yours. I know. Inspite of everyting you say to me or yourself, you do care. I know I’m not supposed to write about my poor excuse for a life anymore. But seeing as I’m not ready to tell my friends (I’m lucky to have but a handful) about how I feel because honestly, my self esteem is so low as I feel that my life is insignificant. And that it would be a bother to them to waste their time talking to a lost cause like me.

Yes, I guess I am a lost cause. When.Will. It. Stop? Soon. I hope.

I’m not suicidal tonight. No. Not tonight. I have an interview tomorrow. This lost cause wants to be found.

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