Procrastinationitis.. no. not prostatitis…
May 7, 2007, 5:35 pm
Filed under: Plate

There is a disease, that, for quite some time now, bothers me. A sickness that many other people fear – the dreaded disease of PROCRASTINATIONITIS. On some cases the disease appears to be congenital, some people are just born procrastinators.. but, researchers have yet to prove that.

Symptoms include, but are not limited to: extreme mental activity accompanied by an unusual slowness of decision making ability, lack of conviction and most of the time shows signs of another disease called boringitis (which is deadly). The patient can usually be found sitting down pondering about a task but inadvertently drifts off indecisively, completing other tasks except for the one he’s thinking of completing.

Although, there haven’t been any (recorded) instances wherein the disease caused the death of the patient, researchers have reason to believe that it can has started killing you the moment you caught it and you have limited time to live. (depends on how long you can delay the process of death and decay)

Procrastinationitis, for quite some time has been believed to be non-contagious. However, a group of researchers from ARRDP (A Really Really Distant Planet) conducted tests in the early 1600’s and found that after prolonged exposure to patients suffering from procrastinationitis, healthy people (in time) show signs of having caught the disease themselves.

The cure for procrastinationitis has been speculated over the years. Some say electrocution works best, while a majority of patients say that it just goes away by itself. There is also a small group of people claiming to have been cured of the disease by a dose of inspiration. Some claim all they needed was a little push. But a group of doctors say that desperation is the most common cure for procrastinationitis, risky, but it works. Personally, i’d rather take inspiration everyday.

**if you feel you have been suffering from procrastinationitis, please contact your local physician before purchasing any of the aforementioned remedies.

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