My cousin just won the singing contest at this medical school. And I was there. Personally, I think she should have won first place instead of second. The voting part made her lose. She did not bring enough people to cast votes for her, but for the most part… at the very least, the people who know what they’re talking about (a.k.a. the judges) think she is the best out there. She sang a particularly old song: Time and Tide by Basia And hell yeah she was the best out there in that school.. although it did not surprise me that a PROFESSOR won the first place. HAHA.. he brought his entire class to support him there so its no surprise that he’d win the contest

But all that… doesn’t mean a thing.. at least to me.. (except maybe for the cash prize) If you did not beat everyone else.. you’re still a LOSER. There’s no such thing as second place winners.. only the first placer’s LOSERS. On that note.. don’t challenge me if you’re not gonna give your all. You’re gonna lose. No second places here. It just doesn’t count it. You lose to me EVEN if I lose to someone else… It still makes you a loser to me.

Winning popularity contests just doesn’t cut it. Unless you’re a frickin’ politician. Its skill that matters.. Unless you’re one of them losers who think that its ONLY the connections that matter. Of course the people you know is important.. But, you shouldn’t rely on it too much, on people, it takes more than that.. On other people. Its not them who’s gonna get you to places. Its your own sweat and blood.

I’m no gamer. I know that. I cannot play with the big boys who don’t sleep and grind all day long. That’s MMORPG’s though. I’d race anyone on other games. But for the most part, I could safely say that I have taken the most out of the game than any other person who played it.

Stop and smell the digitally colored multipixeled flowers. I just wish more women would play online games.. Honestly, the level of testosterone online sometimes overwhelms me.. but then again.. there are a lot of boys out there.. who lack some.

I’d pwn ppl in pvp (same level group) but it doesn’t mean i’d go rampaging through town asking for duels from the townsfolk. As long as there is man, there will always be war. But, there is a time and place for that.

“It’s not a habit, it’s cool, I feel alive
If you don’t have it you’re on the other side
I’m not an addict (maybe that’s a lie)
I’m not an addict…”

and so i walked.. always to the east. from times to casimiro just because you felt like scaring me with a ghost from your past which you told me (after making me walk) was nothing more than a lie. you just wanted to make me run for my life.

and so you want me to trust you. i can safely say now that i do. even if you’d make obvious lies. i am slowly learning to pass it off as a joke from you. i should give you credit for your sense of humor, it rivals my sarcasm. i am learning to smile again. and i want you to be the person to see that smile. cause its gosh darn pretty… pretty scary.

there are no second chances. they’re just chances should we choose to take it. i went to alabang to see the first company i worked for, a call center (yes i am ashamed that i had to work in a call center.. my skills as a bscs grad have not reached their full potential because i took call center jobs all the time..) they said i need not be interviewed again if i wanted to go back and work for them. i just need 2 letters. one from me and one from my supervisor/hr of the branch i worked in. simple enough. and i’m back there. paying.

and i do. i’d take it. risk it all again.

the only thing better than falling in love is falling in love all over again with the same man. changed in some ways.. but inside is still the same man. a mystery as to why, and you know what, i am perfectly fine with it.

i have never felt so tired and my feet has never felt like they’re gonna fall off soon. thank you for making me feel human again.

i totally enjoy it.

just for the record: alabang festival mall vans are KUPAL and should be avoided at ALL COSTS. if needed to go back to dasmariñas really fast, use the grand terminal.

grand terminal pwns noob vans at festival mall.

and so it ends. my incessant ramblings for today. i guess i haven’t really felt alive for the past year. and it feels wonderful. to be alive again.

“Do or die
You’ll never make me
Because the world, will never take my heart
You can try, you’ll never break me
You want it all, you wanna play this part
Won’t explain or say I’m sorry
I’m not ashamed, I’m gonna show my scar
Give a cheer, for all the broken
Listen here, because it’s only you
I’m just a man, I’m not a hero
I’m just a boy, who’s meant to sing this song
I’m just a man, I’m not a hero

anxiety

now i have a word to describe how i usually feel every time there is something bothering you that which you choose not to tell me about.

So like, who cares? I will not be bound by the laws of mortal understanding. I do what I do and I have nothing to prove to anyone else but myself.

I will not be bound by pesky things like the day of the week.

Go where the wind takes me.

Drama? yeah so what? I find it better than to be bound to this earth. A prisoner of norm. Confirming to what people expect from me. Irresponsible? It matters not. I prefer to call it freedom of choice.

I no longer care of the existence of those who contraDICK my thoughts. Its not my problem. It’s theirs because they’re too narrow-minded. (Although, I prefer to call them DIMWITS)

But hey, that’s life, you gotta share this planet with the other human species. I’m just happy for the existence of animals. Makes this place a little more like home.

So.. like.. who would have known.. that this is their true nature?

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/25720126/

you have a few more days in the gregorian calendar to find another girlfriend/whore before valentines day to become your garage sale. because i ran out of things to sell to you. personally, i think you’d be as pathetic to find another old friend confide in her your problems and feelings about me then go fuck her after a month or two(took a year for me though, guess i’m not that pretty)

and since sawa ka na, i have nothing more to offer.

congratulations, you have your life back. call it depression, inspiration? whatever dude. point is you can now write your swansongs again.

those are but excuses because you have issues. a lot of things you cannot say to people to their faces that’s why you blog.

and what’s worse.. you remain anonymous.

big fucking surprise.

just like your old friends, you are a coward. you cannot tell people how you feel to their faces because you are scared of what they may or may not think about you.

moderate this comment all you want but it remains to be read. by all of you.

i may be lonely but i wouldn’t go through lengths to find an old friend in the internet then end up in bed with her.

i am not angry.

i am furious. because now that i have nothing more to sell… i am useless.